dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
