I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
