There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
