Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
