Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
