there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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