Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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