Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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