It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
