If that was your dad, he is hot
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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