He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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