Your tits are I can't wait for
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
