At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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