I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
