i would punch a child for taco bell
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
