I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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