i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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