After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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