theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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