So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
