best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
