I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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