Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
