I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
