made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
