so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
