he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
