found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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