how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
