I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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