He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
As shirtless as possible
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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