Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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