He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
