He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
