sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
