He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
