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• (647): View more from Ontario

  a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens

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• (903): View more from Texas

  The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?

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• (619): View more from California

  No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.

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