So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
