her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
