I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
