Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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