I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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