that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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