So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
bring money and cleavage
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
