Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
