I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
