Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize