Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
try to milk me bitch
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