We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
