I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
