The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
