Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
