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  Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

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• Perhapse a negative STD screening would be better, ya ho-ho-ho!

  Submitted by Hedonistic on Dec 22, 11 at 4:24pm

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  • perfect!

    Submitted by grenadewizard on Dec 22, 11 at 5:20pm

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    • you win!

      Submitted by nunubeest on Dec 22, 11 at 11:53pm

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      • Thank you, my pets...I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy. Come on, little Squishies.

        Submitted by Hedonistic on Dec 23, 11 at 12:02am

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        • squish squish

          Submitted by nunubeest on Dec 23, 11 at 1:32am

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          • Holy fucking puke!! Send them some big boy panties while you're at it!!!

            Submitted by porksword on Dec 23, 11 at 9:36am

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            • Hey, Mr. Grumpy Gills. Is the good feeling gone?

              Submitted by Hedonistic on Dec 23, 11 at 10:35am

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              • Pets? Squishies? Waiter, check please!!!

                Submitted by porksword on Dec 23, 11 at 10:56am

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                • Finding Nemo...

                  Submitted by Hedonistic on Dec 23, 11 at 11:50am

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                  • Didn't get the reference, cute, for another site maybe. Can we please get back to puke and dick jokes now please?

                    Submitted by porksword on Dec 23, 11 at 12:19pm

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                  • Dick jokes... Sure, drop your pants! Lol!

                    Submitted by Hedonistic on Dec 23, 11 at 12:39pm

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                    • oooohhh my

                      Submitted by nunubeest on Dec 23, 11 at 1:05pm

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                  • Even the largest of organs will seem small if you put it in a cathedral honey....

                    Submitted by porksword on Dec 23, 11 at 2:08pm

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                  • Lol! Real men find it to be a tight fit... Are you sure you've hit puberty or are you like the "fun size" version of a real candy bar?

                    Submitted by Hedonistic on Dec 23, 11 at 2:55pm

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                  • Like the" real men" that respond to being called your pet and squishy? Yeah, I guess I can't compete with that. I'm big enough to not feel a need to brag about size or exploits. Wait till I hit puberty though and things could change.

                    Submitted by porksword on Dec 23, 11 at 3:52pm

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                  • LMFAO!!! You're so much fun to play with!

                    Submitted by Hedonistic on Dec 23, 11 at 4:04pm

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                • It's from finding nemo, google "I Shall Call Him Squishy".

                  Submitted by sleete on Dec 24, 11 at 1:11am

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            • I can't help but think of a priest facefucking a nun as she gags and pukes all over his junk. Wtf.

              Submitted by wubbazugg on Dec 23, 11 at 10:49am

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              • Catholicism F'd you up man!!! Stop now, I'm afraid it's going to turn into an alter boys true confession!

                Submitted by porksword on Dec 23, 11 at 12:21pm

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• Who has hookups on their holiday shopping list?

  Submitted by WesPip on Dec 22, 11 at 5:00pm

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• Merry Syphlis and a Happy Gonnoreah.

  Submitted by HungryVipers on Dec 22, 11 at 9:36pm

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• You should also let them know you did test positive for herpes though. It's the gift that keeps on giving!

  Submitted by Phys on Dec 22, 11 at 4:23pm

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• too bad the STDs will last a lifetime, nice work being the holiday slut

  Submitted by theoldguy on Dec 22, 11 at 4:15pm

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• Justin Beiber is going to be sooo relieved!

  Submitted by slaesar on Dec 22, 11 at 4:30pm

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• Send 'em some condoms too

  Submitted by tlovell on Dec 22, 11 at 4:21pm

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• Christmas has lots of Ho's!

  Submitted by cfreymarc on Dec 22, 11 at 7:34pm

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• Should probably send them photos of your std screenings too...

  Submitted by warshadow on Dec 22, 11 at 7:44pm

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• slute!

  Submitted by TLS913 on Dec 22, 11 at 7:27pm

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• Did Hedonistic just make a Ratchet and Clank reference? :)

  Submitted by mg02 on Dec 23, 11 at 1:40am

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• If that's the case, save the picture. A bj will suffice

  Submitted by BirdDog on Dec 22, 11 at 4:20pm

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• Hedonistic- again you win! \nMy first laugh of the day out of this lame ass app... Lol

  Submitted by Dr_Rod on Dec 22, 11 at 11:34pm

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  • Thanks sweetie; I am only here for your amusement.

    Submitted by Hedonistic on Dec 23, 11 at 12:12am

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• Nice Dory quote Hedo

  Submitted by UniqueNordic on Dec 23, 11 at 6:43am

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