I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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